I’m in Gran Canaria, the island, if you don’t know what/where it is, google it. So hot here. With my mom and sister, we’re staying here on vacation for three whole weeks.
Best evening ever. So much fun, with outdoor consert and backstage afterparty! Local band Insanitarium!
You know what?
I opened my video editing software.
And then I closed it.
Been on the island cabin place for four days… It’s weird weird, so quiet. Looking forward to getting home and getting prepared for the weekend, big event outdoors consert thing in town.
You know, the worst pain in the world is not physical. The worst pain ever is losing someone. Someone you loved, very, very much, died away from you. It’s like, in this example, I want to call him. More than anything, I even still have his number saved in my phone, and I want to call him. Hear how he’s doing. “How are you”. I want to talk to him, tell him how I have progressed, how I am doing these days, and what’s on my mind. But I can’t.
I think about him every single day, and I can’t help it.
When I’m with my friends. They ask me what’s wrong, when I get that serious face. I can’t just tell them what I’m thinking about. I feel like they… would never understand, how I really… really… felt about him.
Oh the void.
(Best friend died of cancer in february)
I’m sick, I have a cold. I want to do a lot of things but I can’t, because I feel bad. I feeel like I need to do a lot of things. I’m happier when focused and doing things. My apartment still feels empty and silent, and it’s weird being alone.
It’s raining so much right now it’s like a thousand showers on from the sky. I can hear the rain, hitting my roof.
Besides, my home is a mess.
OOOOOOHH my god. This is real shit.
I just got home to Harstad (Northern Norway) from being with my sister Silje down in Kongsvinger (near Oslo) for over a week. Carrying my bags and stuff up my three stairs and in to my apartment. Closed the door. I’m alone, like for the first time in ages now. Silence hits me, and what hits me even harder is a rush of depression. “I’m…. alone?” like.
I’ve gotten so used to being with someone. just someone, anyone. It’s like I look at these rooms with disgust, and I feel a small urge to move and get another apartment. These walls contain memories, that’s how I feel about them.
Besides, my own bathroom is three floors down, separate from my top floor small apartment. And I don’t have TV channels either. My gorgeous “55 stands there black most of the time, and I can’t just put on some TV sounds to feel less alone.
So I’m home. And all I feel is “now what”.
Helloo. I left my videocamera at home in Harstad, so that’s why no new youtube video is up these days. I’m traveling home on sunday.
Posting more frequently though on my instagram, so add it if you haven’t already lol. “irenemaries” Obviously.
Hi everyone! Yes, all like, 5 readers of this small personal tumblr blog. I’m down visiting my sister in Kongsvinger (near Oslo, Norway) and right now we got home from a roadtrip over to dad’s place (1 hour drive from my sister’s place) we picked up his very UNUSED Playstation 3 system! I’m borrowing it (stealing it).
Doing a lot of updates on it now, it obviously hasn’t been updated in a few… years.
Add my PSN irenemaries.
Great party last saturday also. Picture in post above.
Lol meeting tumblr stalkers when out drinking is weird, and they happen to know like eeeeeverything about me…
My two best cousins are here now! We hang these days with nintendo gaming all day long, currently playing through Luigi’s Mansion on my Gamecube :)
And Mario Kart 8 for hours in multiplayer every day, and Mario 3D World also, on Wii U.
So fun to finally not feel all alone with my gaming.